Saturday, January 29, 2011

Welcome Friends

So, after much debate, I decided to share my blog with the Facebook world. Really, I just figured a follower or two would be nice. I guess I am needy. Don't judge me.


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I don't know what day it is...

Wow, looks like I fell off the planet for a while there. I think every day since my last entry I said that I would update 'tomorrow'. A lot of 'tomorrow's' have passes since then, but fear no more, for I have returned.

Today was a really good day. For the first time in seemingly months, a blue sky was visible and the temperature was actually quite mild. Kudos Mother Nature.

I got up at 7:00 and made it to the gym by 8:00. For some reason I don't have trouble doing this on a Saturday, but find it impossible during the week. Alas, I spent 30 minutes on the elliptical at an intensity level higher than I have done thus far and then ran/walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes or so.

I have to thank a friend of mine for inspiring me to revive my blog and also to remember why I am doing what I am doing. I said on day 1 that I simply wanted to exercise and be healthy. In the time I have been back to the gym, I have remembered how rewarding it all is. Yes, clothes fit more loosely and the numbers on the scale go down, but there is more to it. I love to push myself,
I love to sweat, to run, to challenge my body to see just what it is really capable of; and the feeling of getting stronger and more in shape is beyond imagination. I feel happier, more balanced, and content. This whole journey is about doing something I have never really done before; to be a little selfish and to focus on what I feel is best for me now.

Sorry for the rambling, I just get excited about all of this. It's just a good feeling, perhaps best described by Taio Cruz and Travie McCoy in their song Higher.

With my rambling completed,
I think it is necessary for me to get back to studying. A Physiology exam awaits on Monday.

My official weigh in for this week (last Wednesday) was 187lbs, for a total weight loss of 10.5lbs.

"I got my feet in the air and my head on the ground and the rest of my body's somewhere in the clouds..."




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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Day 9

My arms are killing me.

Ok, not really, but I worked my arms a lot today and even made some funny faces and grunt sounds when lifting; you know, the ones I used to make fun of people for. Haha. I think I will keep doing it though, my arms felt huge.

I managed the calories well today, until dinner. I didn't go over my allotment, though! I would have been even more calorically efficient had I not had dinner with a friend, but it was a good time and I was careful, so it's all good.

And now, without further adieu...the official weigh in results for the week were 193 lbs. I lost 4.5 lbs. last week!! While this is very exciting, I must not expect such every week, because, for one, such a substantial amount is not necessarily healthy and it is also not likely to lose so much each week.

That's one big step in the right direction.

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Monday, January 10, 2011

Day 8

I am so tired.

Monday has kicked me in the bum. I went to the University Fitness Center today to work out with some friends. I was reminded why I stopped going there. Something about the atmosphere makes me feel rushed. And, while there is generally a younger crowd and thus more eye candy, I feel uncomfortable around people who are considerably more fit than I am. I think I get discouraged because I begin to wonder if I will ever get to where they are. The answer I have come to is yes, I will. Maybe I won't look the way they do or be as strong as they are, but I will get to where they are in that I too will be comfortable with myself. It's not the result that counts anyway, it's the journey!

No official weigh in results today...oops. I should have them tomorrow!

Thin thoughts...thin thoughts...thin thoughts...


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Day 7

I think I felt a muscle.

Today was a good day. Rather productive; filled will good food, church with a good friend, studying, and a good visit to the gym.

I like the fact that I can feel my body changing. I always thought it took weeks to feel results from weight lifting (aside from the soreness of course). But I have to admit, my arms, chest, and legs feel bigger and more toned already! And best of all, my stomach is seemingly starting to tighten a little. This makes me happiest of all, because my stomach is probably my biggest issue. When I lost weight the first time I didn't lift weights, because, as I said, I thought it took forever to see results. Thus, since I didn't work on toning up as I was slimming down, I am still left with floppy skin on my arms and especially my stomach. Hopefully I can resolve some of that this time!

Sorry for the abbreviated post; I think sleep would be best as tomorrow is Monday. Tomorrow is also the first day of my second week of this endeavor! Weeee!!

Today's weight was 194.5 lbs. Up 0.5 lbs. from yesterday, but I will keep positive thoughts for tomorrow's official one week weigh in!

How low can you go??






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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Day 6


Don't let one day go by...

Today was a little crazy. I woke up later than I meant to, didn't have my morning coffee, had an ultralight breakfast, and was nearly late to my date today. Yeah, that's right, I had a date, haha. I had lunch and went to a movie with a guy I have been talking to and getting to know for a little over a year now. It was a good time, but the discussion of my date isn't the topic of today's post. At any rate, the craziness of the day continued after the movie when I noticed I had a really bad headache (Probably because, as I mentioned, I skipped my coffee this morning and I am a hopeless caffeine addict!). So, I decided to delay the plan I had to go to they gym after the date and went home, took some medicine, had a small snack, and drank a soda before laying down, in hopes of attending to all possible causes of my headache before it developed into a migraine. I laid down assuming I would take about an hour to nap, which is usual for me, and then head to the gym. Imagine my surprise when I woke four hours later! I felt a lot better, but was mildly frustrated since I hadn't worked out or studied at all today. I decided to skip the gym today, grab a quick dinner and hit the books. The entire time I was studying, I kept feeling down and bummed about how I'd skipped the gym; I didn't want to fall of the wagon. Finally, I decided to just do some physical activity in my apartment. It wasn't as intense as the gym, but I lifted some weights, did some crunches, push ups, and jumping jacks to get the blood flowing and felt much better after.

That is what I was referring to above. Don't let a day go by where you don't mind what you eat or do something physical. This is all about pushing yourself toward a goal. In the past, skipping a day has been the downfall of my weight loss efforts. I start to come down on myself for missing a day and everything spirals from there. I guess I need to be a little less critical on myself and keep my overall goals in mind!

So, I know I promised a 'legitimate post' yesterday, and I'm getting there, but before I forget, today's weight was 194 lbs.! Yay!

So, what happens when you finally reach your goal and you have a great, healthy body? Well, while outwardly your appearance will have transformed into something that is, in the words of Ke$ha, 'hot and dangerous', the body image you have internalized may not make such a change. I think it was one of the oddest and obscure things I realized after I lost my initial 80 lbs. Many people told me I looked so good and I even found myself being described as being 'small' or 'thin' and my mom, of course was concerned that I was losing too much weight. But even after all that, when I looked in the mirror, I still saw a fat kid. My mentality and personal image did not change to suit my outward appearance. While I think it is important for one to have self confidence and to be comfortable in their own skin, I also know that on some level I will always be insecure about my weight; it comes from 18 years of fat jokes and internalization of negative sentiments, which don't go away over night. I think it is simply importance to find a balance. Use the insecurities as fuel for continued self improvement, for no one is perfect. At the same time, recognize your accomplishments and remind yourself that you are awesome and be proud of yourself, because you are making changes to live a healthier life. Just don't be surprised if your increase in weight loss doesn't coincide directly with an increasingly positive body image. In many ways they are two separate things and you have to work to improve each of them individually.

Life's a garden; dig it!



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Saturday, January 8, 2011

Day 5

"Don't over do it..."

No, no, my title isn't there to advise you to not exert yourself. This is something I would never say; thus the quotations around the title. In fact, the credit of this utterance goes to my mother. She is an amazing woman who I love dearly, but she makes me laugh sometimes. I told her I was sore from the gym yesterday (before I went today of course). With concern in her voice she reminded me 'don't over do it'. Sure, this would be a warranted statement if I were attempting to run 45 miles a day or bench press 5 times my body weight (Ok, let's be honest, I don't bench press anything; I use weight machines.). Realistically I try to push myself everyday; be it working out, studying, or eating better, every day is a chance to push harder and get better. I just find my mom's comment ironic after yesterday's post about going big or going home. Then again, this is the woman who tells me I don't need to lose any more weight, in-spite of what my clothes, mirror, and BMI tell me. Ah, to be seen through the eyes of my mother.

While spending the last 15 rambling about my mom, I actually thought of a legitimate topic I would like to discuss, but alas, it will have to wait for tomorrow, for it is well passed my bedtime.

Today's weight was the same as it has been at 195.5 lbs. I burned 430 calories at the gym today with 30 minutes on the elliptical and 10 or so minutes running on the treadmill. I also came in around 300 calories below my allotted budget for the day; that's right, go me!

Patience is a virtue...

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